Next week I can start talking about the conference program. Until then, I can entertain/satiate you by telling you what you won’t be seeing at Pro Walk/Pro Bike 2012: technological triumphalism. I have taken the liberty of producing a 4 minute and 48 second video that explains this affliction. Warning: before watching this video, clear your desk of all sharp objects, and strap on your bike helmet if you are prone to banging your head against walls.

In clinical trials this video commonly elicited two responses:

A). Sold! I already have a carbon fiber hyperbike to match my new carbon fiber hypercar!!
Prescription: please revert to the zero emissions vehicle you already own—your feet or your bike—and take a trip around the block while you imagine what a hypercar traffic jam would look like in Sprawltopia.

B). Dude, I thought you were going somewhere at 38 seconds when you mentioned the obesity epidemic. But then you lost me because you were talking about bigger and heavier cars. I do wonder what a car obesity map would look like…

Prescription: congratulations on getting the correct answer! Reward yourself by taking off the rest of the day for a walk or a bike ride. I will gladly write a note to your boss excusing you from work.
The residents of the District of Columbia are well into their own zero emissions vehicle experiment.

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