April 1, 2011
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA- Working in partnership with leading Silicon Valley technology firms, PPS has developed two new smart phone applications that will revolutionize the world, change the way cities are designed, and finally give its staff members a chance to take some time off to do their laundry.
The first is a Community Input app designed expressly for Starchitects so they never have to actually engage with real people or the future inhabitants of their buildings, but can save face by saying they did, thereby deflecting detractors and quelling civic outrage.
“It’s amazing to have a tool that tells us what the community wants without ever having to ask them,” exclaimed several recent winners of the GSA Design Excellence awards, who asked that their names not be used.
The hand-held device is impossible for anyone with a sense of reality to operate and is not meant for use by the practical-minded. Should it fall literally into the wrong hands, like a community organizer, social service provider, or talk show host, it will immediately freeze and refuse to provide any information. Transportation engineers and public artists have already expressed interest in pirating the software.
The second app is meant for a wider audience and is designed to increase people’s use and enjoyment of public spaces. The “Where is William Whyte Now?” app operates on a simple GPS platform. Simply type in the address of any public space in North America and “WWW Now?” will guide you to the best places to comfortably sit down, kiss your sweetie, reach out to touch water, find a patch of shade, girl- and boy-watch, practice your golf swing or talk to yourself.
The application is in the beta-test phase and will be released once the development team agrees on the font style and color scheme.